< The Poet Charles Bukkake

Great American Poet Charles Bukkake's Page

Welcome to the official Web site of Charles Bukkake. This is where Charles will be posting some of his latest poetry. You may also use the Web site to contact him or find information about his future readings and book signings.

Charles's latest collection of poems, "Lilacs & Labia," is available in fine bookstores now. Ask your local bookstore.

Latest Poems:

The Ballad of Dirty Sanchez

Though he rides bareback
Through the narrow brown canyon.
He never loses hold
Of his hearty companion.

He's a bold warrior
In any battle or clash.
You'll know who he is
By his partner's brown moustache.

Equally adept
Riding stallion or mare
He takes pains to poke your taint
With tender loving care.

He is bold and brave
And fears no man or place.
He wields a thick, meaty brush
As he poop-paints your face.

He never makes an error
Though he does his deeds in the dark.
Dirty's dabs will leave you looking
Like a Mexican Groucho Marx.

Dirty Sanchez is an artist
Of the highest caliber and class
Your face is his canvas
And his pallet is your ass.

His work is so delightful
That many a lover has cried.
Dirty Sanchez is a hero
Who will not be denied.

The Wild of Deuce

Please understand this movement
And the retribution it may spawn.
Thought not a single tree has fallen,
There's a fresh log on your lawn.

Sometimes one must run afoul
Of society's laws and norms.
It's our unlucky lot
To shit without a pot
And make our determined squat outdoors.

I hope no bears attack me
As I make my special delivery
Sometimes Mother Nature
Is her own best facility.

An odorous missive
To the nosy neighbors
And the toilet gods that forsook us.
I've got a wad of shit-stained leaves in my hand
And pine needles in my tuchus.

In the great outdoors
It's a treat to excrete.
The law may deplore it But whichever way you score it,
It makes a man complete.

Ode to Jailbait

It is their goal to fluster and flirt
And break your solemn will
With a short slutty skirt.

Their breasts are the perkiest
In all of the nation
But suckle those titties
And you'll pray for probation.

After you lick
Her bespoiled tears
Through a haze
Of roofies and beers
Try not to crack wise
Before a jury of your peers.

That fresh pink crevice
May taste like heaven
But if she's under eighteen
You'll get five to seven.

So don't give in
To the pretty jail bait
Go home instead
And masturbate.

Special Love

Getting no rise
From the empty eyes
From alumna from Yale or Harvard?
I bid you Godspeed
That you find what you need
Among the mentally retarded.

There's no shame
To lay the mentally lame
Between us honest men.
We know a vagina
Is still wet and warm
On a woman who can't count to ten.

Working in such an institution
Will earn you what you please.
A down syndrome girl
Can slobber on your knob
Before she knows her ABCs.

The retarded are friendly
And fairly clean.
They won't give you gout or rabies.
Just be sure that you're careful
And quickly pull out
So you don't make retarded babies.

Inferno

Care not for fashion
Or what look is the latest
Every man knows
Fire pussy is the greatest.

Hair aflame and skin so fair
Every redhead and her freckles
Makes me cum in my underwear.

I love all kinds of redheads.
Every one of them is hot.
I rave because I crave
That brilliant, flame-touched twat.

I'll lose my mind
And bark at the moon.
And make haste for a taste
Of that sweet Ginger poon.

It matters not age
Or the size of her chest.
It's a great gift of nature
Fire pussy is the best.

Testament of Faith

If G-d is forgiving as they say
He'll be sure to excuse us this infraction
And religion will finally be pulling its weight
If it will help us get some action.

Christian, Muslim, Hindu or Jew,
You know what you have to do.
No love is more sweet or holy
Then when you use a house of worship to screw.

Let tube steak be the host
For this communion of the divine
At least we're not molesting children
For our good time.

In the confessional
Or through a sheet
Biblical knowledge is very sweet.

Fine Dining

Arrived I did for some crispy wings
Or maybe some popcorn chicken.
But the girl behind the counter at the KFC
Was the real meal I was lickin'.

Colonel Sanders was a culinary saint
Who liked his potatoes and peas.
But I ended up on the floor of his kitchen
Eating vagina cheese.

Banging the women who work in fast food
May seem a little bit crazy.
But KFC girls look very good
When they're coated in my white gravy.

In Defense of Senator Craig

The senior Senator from Idaho
Is surely not really a disgrace.
He only needed some toilet paper
To wipe cum off of his face.

What kind of world are we living in?
To what sad fate are we doomed,
When a United States Senator
Can't get fellatio in a restroom?

He threw out all the right signals
And sat in all the right stalls
But the conservative "red state" senator
Ended up with blue balls.

The Gamble

Darkness descends quickly
And merriment becomes despair
As what seems like a harmless toot
Has just destroyed your underwear.

Be forewarned
When you decide to send your wind our way
Fickle Fortuna
Has a messy way of making you pay.

Fueled by tacos
Encouraged by booze
You've taken a gamble
That you might lose.

You have to flood an air biscuit
And you give it a little help,
But beware the sudden wetness
You just felt.
Before too long
You are defeated and stained
But be strong, my friend.
We all feel your pain.

There's no shame in it.
It's happened to me too.
We've all made the mistake
That's Russian Roulette with poo.
We've all given in to that fart-full urge
That resulted in a butt mud surge.
We gambled and we lost.
Flatulence was the game
Dirty drawers were the cost.

Man's Honest Labor

Wondering what to do
When your workday gets you blue?
When the rat race rages on
And the boss turns up the heat,
Do the work that really pays
And steal away to beat your meat.

Your company has official ways
It gives you to conquer stress,
But blowing my load in the corporate commode
Is the release that I like best.

It's true that no one hired you
To slack off and play with your cock,
But it feels tremendous to rub one out
When you know you're still on the clock.

Ode To An Upper Decker

And so let it be
In privacy
That revenge is finally honed.

Do not retreat
Revenge is sweet
Atop your enemy's throne.

Turn away
From the fist fight,
The arguments and scowls.
Go and get
Your get back
When it's time to move your bowels.
Stand on the bowl
And prepare your soul
For work both righteous and rank.
Move with haste
To place your waste
Not in the bowl, but the tank.

Let the brown waters of justice flow.
Let the word ring loud and clear:
Mess with me
Or the friends I keep
And you'll smell my shit for a year.

A Gift For My Love

I wish my lover
A million gems
And a fancy diamond ring

Instead I'll give her a pearl necklace
That won't cost me a thing.

Straddle your woman
And love her chest
As if it were the end of the world.
Her mammaries will form the oyster
That delivers up the pearls.

Your woman may say 'tis degrading
Or claim it is out of place.
Hold her fast and say,
"Silence, my love,
Or next time I'll aim for your face."

In Defense of the Man from Nantucket

In defense of the man from Nantucket
If my dick was as big, I would suck it.
And I'm willing to bet
That my cock is still wet
From the last time your mother did fuck it.

The Back Door

To keep the sex baby-free
And not end up in a rut
Lose inhibitions
And do like me
And stick it in her butt.

Women might say it hurts
Or complain that we don't respect them.
But she knows she won't have to get an abortion
If you blow your load in her rectum.

Women are beautiful
Women are good
Women have much more class
But the woman that is worth marrying
Is the one who'll take it in the ass.

Earn Your Wings

There are many adventures we'll have in life
That will teach us many things.
The one task we all must complete
Is to earn our red wings.

Love your woman every time of the month
And don't be a callous phony.
Dive in there without a care.
Let your face be her cotton pony.

Life can be brutal
Life can be hard
And leave us with scrapes and bumps
But the brave soul
Who gets his red wings
Gets a mouthful of bloody chunks.

Some men are doubtful
And become put off
And say that it's not good lovin'.
But Aunt Flo's visit is a joyous sign
That there isn't a bun in the oven.

Pleasant Dreams

After too much beer
And wine and whiskey
My beloved and I
Began to get frisky.

We kissed and took off each other's clothes
But as she fellated me
I began to doze.

She decided no more
When I began to snore,
But my love was dead wrong
To quit slurping the schlong.

I don't care if I'm snoring or dead.
You'll know when it's time
To quit giving me head.